I love our little family. 

Tomorrow marks three months of marriage to this fella, but the last approximately ninety days have been so much more than that. The past three months have taught us how to live together, how to fight together, how to forgive and move past. They’ve taught us grace and respect, selflessness and courage. Some of the best days being married to him have been the least eventful; staying bed all day, cleaning our little home, watching a marathon of our favorite show at the moment. Marriage has continuously taught my stubborn, rigid self spontaneity, silliness and childishness. It has reminded me to come out of my self, and to pour life and love and energy into someone else daily. It has taught me day after day that caring rejuvenates me, that plans can be thrown out, and most of all that you can’t stop learning how to love someone else…better.  

The military is being gracious to us this weekend with four whole days together. We have some plans with other people being social and whatnot, but mostly they’ll be spent inside waiting out a few thunderstorms like the ones we had today. It’s funny how much of a (mostly) negative picture tumblr has planted of the military and most wives for me over the past few years (with the exception of those stellar few). But we’ve hung out with a few other couples a few different times and we’re really liking who the military has given to us as friends. I can’t wait to start entertaining in our own home. We’ll start packing to move soon, too. Which is both exciting and overwhelming. Moving three times in just under four months? Sure why not.

But this move will be the last for a long while.

And that, makes my heart soar. 

Life is so sweet lately, especially with these three loves.   

Cardboard boxes.

I read everywhere that you can get large cardboard boxes (for moving) by calling local grocery stores/stores and they’ll give them to you. This is obviously instead of spending a fortune on moving boxes. 

Has anyone ever done this? And if so, which stores?

Anonymous said: Why post on a site with a reblog button if you don't want your stuff reblogged? Why post on a site with a reblog button if you aren't even going to SAY you don't want something reblogged until it already is? Go to wordpress.

Oh you, sassy anon, you. 😘

Anonymous said: So you're a teacher?

Something like that. That’s what I’m certified in yeah.

Got a cheapie tripod today and did some tester shots in bum mode. Excited for some legit ones in the near future (involving a new house and holidays, perhaps?) 💑 🐶 🏡

Got a cheapie tripod today and did some tester shots in bum mode. Excited for some legit ones in the near future (involving a new house and holidays, perhaps?) 💑 🐶 🏡

Oh the phone with my mother.

Sunday Struggles.

I’ve been struggling a little bit more than I care to recognize lately. Scrolling through my facebook feed it’s terribly difficult to not realize the amount of my fellow graduates that have all began their first days of school today or last week. Not as students; they’re the teacher now. And in turn, in time, next week really, I’ll be the teacher too. It’s strange coming to terms with the fact that this fall, didn’t turn out the way my friends have, my fellow graduates and colleagues.

I’m jealous.

I’m married and moved across the country for love. And they’re being addressed as Ms. Something Or Other. I’ll be a Mrs. Something too eventually, to twenty something tiny mouths. I’ll have my own classroom in a school. It’s strange to have something other than that currently, something still in a position of authority, an awesome position, but so much more unconventionally than I imagined. Something I didn’t think I’d do, heck something I even said I probably wouldn’t want to do. But this is right. I know it is. 

But through it all, I know that His plans have a purpose, that His plans are greater than mine. And that somehow, He is providing for all of my needs, even if I don’t know them. I know that I’ll have multiple tiny little mouths looking to me next week for guidance and direction, that they’re need care and love as much as a classroom of students who sit at desks do, maybe more. I know that plans have a purpose and that my Jesus provides in the most uncanny of ways. I know that I am blessed in this season of rest, regardless of the fact that I don’t know what to do with it most times, that I can take peace in all circumstances. I know that I am blessed with love and support, amongst self-doubt and questioning. 

Jehovah-Jireh, God our Provider. 

Our girl is gettin so big!
She’s about four and a half months now. Life has been crazy lately. My new job starts soon and buying a house is serious business. We cannot wait to move in in a few weeks! Life has been a whirl lately and I’m still enjoying my little hiatus. I’m on IG and my blogspot more lately though, which is nice.
Just sayin hey. 

Our girl is gettin so big!

She’s about four and a half months now. Life has been crazy lately. My new job starts soon and buying a house is serious business. We cannot wait to move in in a few weeks! Life has been a whirl lately and I’m still enjoying my little hiatus. I’m on IG and my blogspot more lately though, which is nice.

Just sayin hey. 

darlinkat said: I miss seeing your posts!

Thank you. I’m still here kinda. Maybe I’ll be back soon, things are crazy right now but I do want to go back to posting semi-regularly eventually. For right now though, it’s nice to just not.  

I’m just really mad at tumblr lately for a bunch of reasons, but the main one being that I posted this about a month ago. Not only has it gotten reblogged by all the “milso” sites (which isn’t a big deal but makes me vomit slightly), the words and credit have gotten removed several times. And using MY IMAGE for shameless self-promotion? Gag. I’ve also messaged people kindly asking them to not reblog things and gotten “well maybe you should put a disclaimer on all your posts?” 

No. I will not. 

But I will stop posting. So I’ll be here, but mostly updating personal things on my blogspot. If you want the url private message me and maybe I’ll give it out. Now I know why people I love from here have deleted. And this is why I delete so much so often.

I just feel so invaded. And no I didn’t bring it on myself. There’s a respect issue I think. If you have a problem with my ‘attitude’ or thinking kindly press the unfollow button. This is so stupid now. I don’t feel right posting private or personal things anymore and I’m certainly not just going to have a whole tumblr of reblogged stupid random pictures. 

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. 

{Any and all rude messages in response to this will be promptly deleted}. 

truthful tuesday.

- I’ve recently made that transition from calling connecticut ‘my parents’ house’ instead of referring to it as ‘my house.’ I don’t know how or when it happened, but suddenly it just felt wrong to say ‘my house’ when that’s not my house nor my home anymore in any sense of the word. It’s funny, because Kate’s post just kind of triggered this. 

- Thinking about furnishing our new home doesn’t make me want to leave it anytime soon. Which in turn makes me a little bit guilty, like I should want to go back to my hometown and visit everyone any chance I get. Which also brings me to the fact that my parents even offered to fly me out for a family friend’s wedding in a couple of weeks and I thought of every excuse not to go. This confuses my heart a little bit. We finally found the perfect sectional for our new home and we’re so excited to put it in our home. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, but we’re slowly planning things for our house when we move in a few weeks. We were supposed to have an inspection today but it got changed to Thursday. I want to see our house again!

- These twelves suck so much. Husband is lack-of-sleep and over-worked all stages of cranky and (whine whine whine) it’s affecting my sleep cycle so much more than I want it to. I hope they don’t last the two weeks that they think they will and only one. 

- I’m ready for August to be over, which is something I never say. Summer, right? But September holds so many exciting things; my new job starting, our house closing/moving, my birthday and enjoying our new home (slash decorating it with fall stuff). I’m hesitant to see what fall is like down here while at the same time I know it will lack so much compared to my beautiful New England autumns. 

- I have so many mixed feelings about my new job - let me explain. I seem to be getting some doubts from people who know me ~’professionally’ (ie, co-op teachers, fellow graduates, peers etc) about my qualifications and my position/responsibilities. It’s like they’re shocked at my position as ‘not a full time teacher.’ It’s kind of like the weird transition I felt after graduating and working towards the funnel of being a full time teacher; for a while I felt that that was my only option and I didn’t know what else to do. It’s amazing how this job came out of no where and the connections it led me to (eh hem, s/o to my now-co-teacher-Katie ). I truly truly do believe it’s a God-thing, even though I have no idea how it’s going to pan out. It’s teaching me that nothing is permanent, that I can do what I want, even if that’s the unexpected. Before it’s even started, it’s showing me the many opportunities that I have, that I’m not confined into one pathway of what’s expected of me. And it’s proving to me that I can work towards my passions, even if I only partially have a handle on them. The bottom line is that I love working with kids, I love teaching them and seeing them learn and showing them love and forming relationships with them; no matter the age, the amount of time that I see them a week or a month or the material they’re learning. That’s what I love doing. And just because I took rigorous courses and tests, doesn’t mean I’m going to automatically get locked into something I’m unsure of. I’m going to take these coming opportunities in stride and figure out what I want to do, not even for the rest of my life, just for now.

And that’s okay. I’m really learning that that’s okay. Expectations, whether they’re yours or other people’s are ridiculously stressful. You learn and love regardless. And I love where life and God’s plans are taking me lately. Regardless of all that. 

"August rain: the best of the summer gone, and the new fall not yet born. The odd uneven time."

Sylvia Plath  (via sorakeem)

(Source: featherandarrow, via through-stained-glass)

monday night.

K has been working twelves lately in his new unit, mids no less. So it’s been kinda sucky as I try to stay busy and as our schedules are completely opposite. However, tonight we are blessed with his rolling day off. Which is such because, we get to see our house for a whole two hours during the final inspection tomorrow! Ah! We’re pretty excited. So tonight is filled with dog walks (and dog baths because our puppy loves to puddle run), home dreaming (that is finally a very tangible reality) and lots of quality time together. 


Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person,
With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body…
Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me,
Who won’t hold them against me,
Who loves me when I’m unlikable,
Who sees the small child in me, and
Who looks for the divine potential of me…

Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night
With someone who thanks God for me,
With someone I feel blessed to hold…

Because marriage means opportunity
To grow in love in friendship…

Because marriage is a discipline
To be added to a list of achievements…

Because marriages do not fail, people fail
When they enter into marriage
Expecting another to make them whole…

Because, knowing this,
I promise myself to take full responsibility
For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness
I create me,
I take half of the responsibility for my marriage
Together we create our marriage…

Because with this understanding
The possibilities are limitless.

Why marriage? - Mari Nichols-Haining 

Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person,

With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body…

Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me,

Who won’t hold them against me,

Who loves me when I’m unlikable,

Who sees the small child in me, and

Who looks for the divine potential of me…

Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night

With someone who thanks God for me,

With someone I feel blessed to hold…

Because marriage means opportunity

To grow in love in friendship…

Because marriage is a discipline

To be added to a list of achievements…

Because marriages do not fail, people fail

When they enter into marriage

Expecting another to make them whole…

Because, knowing this,

I promise myself to take full responsibility

For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness

I create me,

I take half of the responsibility for my marriage

Together we create our marriage…

Because with this understanding

The possibilities are limitless.

Why marriage? - Mari Nichols-Haining 

The animals are napping downstairs and the husband is napping upstairs in preparation for a round of 12s. The house is spotless. There’s two garlic and broccoli mashed potato pizzas in the oven and the dishes are soaking in the sink. The man’s abus are clean as of an hour ago.
I’m taking a quiet moment to myself at the kitchen table with my planner and organizing the to-do lists and coupons and timelines for the next two months, with an empty grocery planner for next week begging for attention soon. The candles are lit and the pizza smells both nearly done and delicious. 
And I am a pretty freakin awesome ‘housewife’ if I do say so myself.
But most importantly,
it pleases my soul and warms my heart.
It humbles me and encourages a heart of service and selflessness and patience and kindness and love. 
And I love doing it.

The animals are napping downstairs and the husband is napping upstairs in preparation for a round of 12s. The house is spotless. There’s two garlic and broccoli mashed potato pizzas in the oven and the dishes are soaking in the sink. The man’s abus are clean as of an hour ago.

I’m taking a quiet moment to myself at the kitchen table with my planner and organizing the to-do lists and coupons and timelines for the next two months, with an empty grocery planner for next week begging for attention soon. The candles are lit and the pizza smells both nearly done and delicious. 

And I am a pretty freakin awesome ‘housewife’ if I do say so myself.

But most importantly,

it pleases my soul and warms my heart.

It humbles me and encourages a heart of service and selflessness and patience and kindness and love. 

And I love doing it.